If you want the best Feedback tips and techniques in one place, then you’ll LOVE this (updated) guide.
We’ve personally tested and taught these and they will make a powerful addition to your feedback toolbox.
You can use any of the examples to find the best feedback methods for you.
Check it out.
Good news – this isn’t a problem. It’s a huge opportunity for you!
Lots of Managers and Leaders take being honest with the people they work with incredibly seriously.
But providing feedback about unwanted behaviours or under performance on it’s own will eventually lead to;
Not only is this bad for you, this is a problem that is costing businesses billions in labour turnover with the loss of valuable employees whose experience is irreplaceable.
On a more personal level this can seriously setback Managers and Leaders.
You may find yourself spending all your time doing jobs you used to delegate and it can take years to recover from this.
If you’ve read our article on Leadership Training you already have a head start on spotting situations where your feedback has gone down like a lead balloon, and you’re getting that tension and conflict that seems to come hand in hand with giving feedback.
Now you’ve observed this you need to know what to say to steer yourself away from the danger zone that could lead to a breakdown in your relationship, and get your feedback back on track.
People get defensive when they are given information that doesn’t match the perceptions they have of themselves.
Telling someone you don’t think they are doing a good enough job is you giving that person information that they didn’t have before and it is different to what they expected to hear.
This creates tension or confrontation, but the information you have given is only part of the picture.
We need to give them more information so they have a better view of what the complete picture really is. Giving positive feedback is a whole lot easier than you think.
Tip 1 – “I know you want to do a good job”
This lets the person separate the facts of them not doing a good enough job from you thinking they don’t care.
Even if things don’t go to plan, they need to know you think they intended to do a good job:
Most people are fine with being the person that tries hard but failed, but they will never accept the view of themselves as a person who intentionally doesn’t care about doing a bad job.
So we need to take this thought off the table.
Tip 2 – I can see how much effort you’ve put in to this and how hard you work
Nothing rattles peoples cages more than the perception of them being treated unfairly.
People everywhere want justice and this includes wanting people to put in their fair share.
This is a behaviour that is instinctive to us as humans.
Early man lived in small groups and there were very serious consequences for any individual that was seen as not “pulling their weight” or doing their fair share for the tribe.
To be seen as someone that was a positive asset to the group they lived with was a necessity for survival!
By you acknowledging the fact that you understand that they are putting the effort in, they will not feel the need to defend or justify what they are doing, because they will no longer fear looking like a slacker.
This way you are much more likely to be able to continue the conversation in a constructive way.
Tip 3 – I want to help you
Negative feedback can seem like an attack. By clarifying that you want to help them improve, you show that there is not a “witch hunt” against them and that you have the same goals as they do.
When emotions run high or if the person should have had the feedback long before you have given it to them, then be patient.
You may have to keep reminding them of the fact you are there to help them and that you also benefit when they do well.
Keep doing this as required and eventually the message will get through!
When people get defensive, it is nearly always because they believe you think they are a type of person that they do not want to be.
Most of the time this is a misunderstanding and there is a high price to pay for people thinking this, especially when it isn’t even what you actually think about them!
The more information people have the better their decision making is.
The idea here isn’t to make somebody do something, you should strive to educate underperformers on where they stand and the consequences for them, the organisation and their team if they do not fulfil their role to a good standard.
Then, simply let them make their own decision on what actions are right for them to take.
Combining these feedback tips with the instructions of what you need a person to do differently can be the difference between success and failure.
Success comes to communicators who are more skilled in feedback and use these feedback examples. The employees they give the feedback to will listen and make a decision to change.
In contrast, less skilled Communicators will either not give the feedback at all or have to rely on their authority or position to force a change in the person’s behaviour.
This may get them what they want in the short term but it will certainly have a negative effect on the relationship.
Breakdowns in relationships are detrimental to your long term success. It is easy to see this cannot be a good strategy.
This is especially true when you can get the same result whilst building trust and strengthening relationships by giving feedback skilfully. It really is a no-brainer when it comes to which strategy is the best approach.
Improve your ability to give constructive feedback by using these feedback tips.
It is easy to see why businesses and other organisations prize Managers and Leaders who are highly skilled in effective feedback.
Their ability to make progress through changing people’s behaviours without the disruption of breaking down relationships in the process is both valued and sought after!
Good feedback gets people to a place where they can take leaps forward in making big changes:
Use these feedback examples next time you are giving feedback.
You may not do it perfectly the first time but as your ability to give constructive feedback increases, so will your value to the organisation you work for.
Not many people are skilled in giving feedback, so it is a great way to stand out from the crowd!
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